Since Brendan Reichs knows a thing or two about putting beloved characters through hell, it only makes sense that he have a hand in recapping, wait for it, THE FINAL SEASON of Game of Thrones!! Checkout his full recap below!

THRONES THRONES THRONES THRONES THRONES THRONES THRONES THRONES.

Game of Thrones is back, the first episode was awesome, this last season looks like it’s going to be incredible, where do I even begin?

Let’s start at the start: a new opening credits sequences whaaaaaaaaat?!?!?! I was already way too excited to watch the show again, and this did nothing to calm me down. The astrolabe sequence now goes inside the castles, and we saw Last Hearth—things don’t go well there, alas—Winterfell and its crypts, and a cool dragon skull lurking under King’s Landing. So many clues about the episodes to come, I think. (I detected a serious emphasis on the weirwood tree in the Winterfell godswood. Just saying. Maybe Emo Bran will make it work somehow.) Also, there’s a GIANT HOLE IN THE WALL THAT THE CAMERA FLIES THROUGH. Goodness. Mercy.

So much good stuff happened in ‘Winterfell’ that I’m just going to hit the highlights as best I can, but first I’d like to point out how GREAT the Twitter chatter was all night long after the show aired. I love it when social media turns into a firestorm of fandom, and, last night, Kid-Lit Twitter had OPINIONS about Thrones. Don’t miss it next week, if you like debates about insane sea pirates or who should probably not be making out with whom.

On to the BIG MOMENTS:

1. Sansa v. Daenerys. Okay, the shade Sansa was throwing at her new liege-lord was … intense. I can tell this is going to be an inflection point all season long, and I definitely dig that the Lady of Winterfell is not pleased to have Dragon Mom telling her what to do, but is Jon the only one thinking about The Greater Good here? I mean, I love a good Lyanna Mormont tell-off as much as the next person, but there’s an army of the dead coming through a giant hole in The Wall. Chill out on the banquet seat assignments for now, maybe?

2. No elephants. I’ll be real here—I was as sad as Cersei when war elephants failed to arrive with the Gold Company. Sometimes you really just want to see some crazy-big war elephants, but the psychopath Greyjoy you sent to get them lets you down. Being a queen is never easy.

3. Dragon riding. This was quite a rollercoaster episode for our man Jon Snow. First he gets scolded by his sister and the surviving Northern toddler lords (ouch), but then he gets to make out with his new lady the Mother of Dragons (win!), but then he finds out that the woman of his dreams is also his aunt. That’s going to make things really super awkward going forward. Also, he’s the true heir to Iron Throne of Westeros, which—ugh, Jon, is your honor going to make you act on that information? Or can you choose to show some serious chill/common sense this time around, and just FORGET SAM TOLD YOU. I think we all know the answer to that one.

4. Peeping Tom Dragons. I too would struggle to deep kiss my new queen and war partner if her two giant dragons were eyeballing me like a rare flank steak the whole time. (I think they knew, Jon. I think they knew she’s your aunt.)

5. Bran greets Jaime. So much vital information was shared amongst the characters this week, which is great—now we can get right down to the fallout portion of these bombshells. But no moment is going to top Jaime Lannister strolling into Winterfell and being greeted by the kid he pushed out a tower window in order to cover up his incestuous relationship with his sister. That was in EPISODE ONE, people. Talk about full circle! I bet Jaime felt bad when he saw Bran. He looked like he did, and the previews for next week indicate he has a bit to worry about. Can we talk about how Jaime’s character has been turned around in this bonkers show? Remember how we met this guy? (See above terrible thing.) And now there’s hero talk surrounding him. Westeros, man. Crazy place.

I’m so looking forward to next week! House Reichs has called its banners. See you then!

Love intense reads? The finale to Brendan Reichs’s Project Nemesis series Chrysalis is out now!

Need something pleasant to take your mind off what’s coming in the next episode? Read the excerpt of Her Royal Highness here!